Proper Etiquette on Deciding Who to Invite and Who to Leave Out
So the initial shock of getting engaged has settled down and you are ready to start planning your big day! There are so many things to decide on: the colors, the dress, the dinner, the decor, and all the little tiny details. Before you can get to any of that though, you have to do one of the most challenging parts of wedding planning – the guest list. Whether you are wanting a small, intimate wedding or a big and full party, you might need to make some tough decisions on who to include and who doesn't quite make the cut. Hopefully, these pointers on how to create your guest list make it a bit less stressful.
Once you begin adding guests to your list, try and decide if there is a maximum amount of people you want to invite. Keep in mind the bigger the guest count, the bigger the budget! More guests mean more tables, chairs, food, drinks, etc. If you don't give yourself a limit, then your list could just keep growing with no real control. Also, if you have already booked a venue, then you need to make sure you are aware of what the max number of guests your venue can hold. For example, Four Oaks Manor has a max guest capacity of 200. You definitely would not want to host more guests than your space can allow!
A big stress involved with making a guest list is making sure no one's feelings get hurt. The truth of the matter is some people will get their feelings hurt no matter what you decide because you just can't please everyone. A good way to try and avoid this, however, is to invite everyone from the same group or no one from that group. This applies mostly to extended families. If you and your fiance decide you want to include your extended family, then it should be all of the family. Leaving out just one aunt or one cousin could call for an awkward family situation, and to be honest do you really want that drama looming over your wedding day?
If you find yourself cutting some people out of the guest list because there just isn't room for everyone, you can create an A and B guest list. What this means is you would put all of your priority guests on list A. These are the people that are very close to you and your fiance and you just can't picture your wedding day without them. Then you would create a B list with all the people you really want at your wedding, but room just isn't allowing for more people. If you get an RSVP from someone on list A saying they are unable to attend, you can then extend the invitation to someone on the B list. This way you are able to invite more guests while still staying under control with the guest count!
The biggest thing to remember is that you do not have to justify who you invite to your wedding and why you made that choice. This day is about you and the love of your life. So although it is good to be respectful of everyone in this process, remember that it is your big day and you get to decide who you celebrate with.
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