All Things Toasts | Who Speaks, When, plus Dos and Don’ts

Maekoi Photography

Are you a couple deciding on who should give a speech at your wedding reception? Or are you a member of the wedding party who’s been assigned the exciting but often nerve-wracking task of delivering a toast, and aren’t sure how to start? Whoever you are, we’re breaking down everything you need to know about wedding toasts!

Who Gives Toasts?
So, who is supposed to give a wedding toast? Traditionally, the father of the bride, father of the groom, maid of honor and best man give toasts and in that order. Of course, mothers can also give toasts alongside the fathers, or in place of them. And you can also change up the order of toasts or whose giving them.

We do recommend, however, that no more than four people give toasts and you reserve any other speeches for the rehearsal dinner. Having more than four speeches threatens taking up too much time at your reception, leaving your guests bored wondering when the next thing is coming up.

A good rule of thumb, according to Croce, a luxury wedding planner in Arizona, is to keep “the entire speech portion of the reception to 20 minutes, maximum. From there, you can divide up those minutes between the different speakers.”

When Do Toasts Happen?
Typically, toasts take place toward the end of dinner as guests are finishing up their plates since guests are already seated and there isn’t too much movement happening that could disrupt the toasts.

Doing toasts toward the end of dinner also acts as a good transition between dinner and the rest of the reception including cake and dancing.

Dos and Don’ts of Wedding Toasts:
Dos:

• Add humor
• Keep it short (3-5 minutes is a good timeframe)
• Make it personal
• Include one or two short stories that relate to the rest of the speech
• Thank the couple and their families 
• Practice beforehand

Don’ts: 

• Don’t include embarrassing information or stories (If you’re unsure, check with the couple or others. If you’re still not sure, maybe leave it out.)
• Don’t say rude or mean things (e.g. "We thought this day would never come", etc.)
• Don’t drag it out with every story you can think of
• Don’t be crude (Remember, kids, coworkers, and close relatives are there.)

Nervous about giving a wedding speech? Check out this article where public speaking experts give their best advice and tips to crushing your toast.

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